Portland Singles | What to Do When He Says He Needs Time

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What? Wait, did he really just say that he needs time to think? What does he mean? What in the world is going on here? You thought everything was peachy keen. You even had a spectacular night together last night. So what’s changed overnight? How did you wake up to the worst news of your life after such a perfect night?

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Here at Portland Singles Dating Service, we know this is one of the most confusing, frustrating, and devastating statements a woman can hear from her guy. Unfortunately for you, he said it and you can’t unhear it. So now what do you do? What does this mean for you? Before you drive yourself nuts wondering what you did to make him change his mind in an instant – or worse, do something stupid that you’ll later regret, like ring him out while he’s at work or key his car – let our dating and matchmaking experts break it down for you.

Why He Said It

Before we can figure out what it means for your relationship, we need to figure out possible reasons he said it.

1. He’s afraid.

Yeah, we all know how scary relationships can be. Constantly thinking about someone and putting most of your time and energy into them can be a scary thing. But putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable to someone else is even scarier. And men especially tend to be more fearful of relationships.

If he’s starting to catch feelings and really fall for you, he could be terrified. He’s letting you know that he needs some time to evaluate whether or not he’s ready for this kind of life change. He’s likely really scared of all these emotions that are completely taking over him and needs some time to himself to sort them out.

2. He wants to feel manly again.

When a man falls in love and becomes all lovey dovey and sappy, it’s a weird feeling. After all, men want to feel strong, brave, and manly, not girly and sensitive. If he’s overcome with love and emotions for you, this might be his attempt at slowing things down so he can reclaim a bit of his masculinity.

3. He’s lost interest.

Unfortunately, a lot of men don’t know how to break it to a woman when they’re no longer interested. So what do they do instead? They use code words and phrases, such as, “I’m sorry, I just need some time to think.” Either they no longer feel a connection, never truly did in the first place, or they already have their sights on another woman.

What Can You Do?

Now that we know why he may have said this, it’s up to you to figure out which is your guy’s reason why. And from there, you can figure out what you need to do.

1. Calm Down

How you react to his statement of needing time tells him a lot. The last thing you want to do is come off as a crazy woman or like your life revolves around him. This will undoubtedly scare him and push him away for good. Show him that you’re a strong and independent woman, someone whom he should have no fears of getting serious with.

2. Don’t Bother Him

Basically, just leave him be. Once again, you want to show him that you’re strong and independent, not weak and needy. This is how you show him you’re a great catch and how you’ll have him reeling you back in. And if he doesn’t want you back, don’t waste your time trying. You deserve a man who knows what a great catch you are and isn’t afraid of getting serious with you.

3. Give Him Space

Again, back to the idea of letting him be and giving him time and space to think and figure things out on his own. Pulling back and distancing yourself is the perfect way to give him time to himself and to show him that you can give him that space without flipping out. By not calling, bugging, and begging him to come back to you, you’re showing him that you’re not waiting around for an answer. No way, not you – you have your own life and happiness to create.

If you recently had your guy tell you that he needed time to think, you need to remember to remain calm, not to flip out, and to give him the time and space he needs. Show him that you’re strong, independent, and that you can be completely happy on your own.

If you’re tired of meeting flakes and commitment-phobes, contact Portland Singles Dating Service and let our professional matchmakers introduce you to quality single men in Portland who are in touch with their emotions and serious about dating.

To reserve your FREE (90-minute) matchmaking consultation, simply fill out the confidential form at the top of the page today.

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